Heart of Red Clay

Ellie the crazy purse lady, can you see Anna climbing over the couch in the background?

2006-09-05T18:20:00.000-07:00

Our rainy day at Brookfield Zoo

2006-09-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

A little ice cream anyone?

2006-09-05T18:17:00.000-07:00

Anna's first day of preschool

2006-09-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

Running to Stand Still

2006-08-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like I run around all day long and accomplish nothing but what is necessary to keep my household going.

2006-07-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it! Ferris was so right. I can't believe how fast time is flying by. I can already see August even when we just started July... June filled up with a trip to a fancy beach house thanks to one of Karl's co workers letting us use it for free, the Women of Faith Conference in the sweet box suite thanks to the owner of the Falcons, with some great women turning into great friends, other gatherings with the small group and a visit from my dad.

Now July has Karl's sister and her husband coming tomorrow for a few days, if you want to watch the Cardinals/Braves game on Wednesday we will be between the screen and 3rd base duggout a few rows up. Then Saturday, the trek to "the farm" 9+ hours to Pittsburgh where we meet up with my dad, brother and his girlfriend and another 8+ to upstate New York. My mom, 3 brothers and one girlfriend will be meeting us there. In addition to the large family, there will be 4 dogs visiting as well. Luckily we are able to be gone 11 days so all the traveling will be worth it. When we get home, my mom is coming for a short week, there is the MOPS Steering Committee Retreat and Falcons training camp starts. And its August.

So yeah its a little rambling, but I felt some updating was in order. In other news, I am fully enjoying the World Cup, but am very disappointed that England lost. I guess I will have to root harder for Alex's Italia!

Two Things... One Funny and One Guarded

2006-06-06T15:04:00.000-07:00

The funny thing... We are finally have a patio poured under our 2nd story deck. This is mostly being done to save our dogs' lives. They, especially Rocky, like to wallow in the mud that is under there and then track that beautiful red clay all over the house. The funny thing is that the guys doing the patio are "the others" on Lost. I am pretty freaked out everytime I talk to them.

The guarded thing... this week at church I became reconnected with a song that I think will be my theme song for awhile. I can't share any details why for now, but will as soon as I can....It may be months. Anyway here is the part of the song that is resonating in my heart:

As I wait, you make me strong.
As I long, you draw to your arms.
As I stand, and sing your praise.
You come, you come and fill this place.

*I always feel a responsibility to update and then feel guilt when I don't. And now I feel kinda bad for being cryptic.

This is your life... Are you who you want to be?

2006-05-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

So the current theme in my life is about embracing where I am or making changes. On a funny note, now that I am 30, I don't mind when the teenagers at the grocery store call me ma'am. In fact I kind of like it, maybe it is adjusting to southern life too.

My current verse from the Message:
"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." Galations 6:4-5.

I know my current position as mommy is the most important thing I can be doing, but I am looking outward as well and two points that keep coming back to me over my life are hitting me once more.

1) I need to show God's goodness to my family (inlaws and blood). Mostly I think that means how I am with them, letting the transforming work of God show through my actions, but I am also praying consistently for them, and I need to be prepared to speak specifically when the right situation arises. I need to be aware and confident to act on the Holy Spirit's promptings.

2) International Adoption. For more than 6 years, this is a recurring question. At this point in my life I am in a position to find out more information about it (A family who has adopted 4 children and works for an agency live in our neighborhood). It really is kind of scary to me, but I know I need to really get into it with God to figure out what is next.

There's nothing like waiting to the last minute

2006-05-10T14:41:00.000-07:00

Because my Illinois driver's license expires tomorrow, we spent some family time this morning getting Georgia licenses today. I'm not sure what freaks me out most: having a GA driver's license or turning 30.

Brain dump...

2006-04-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

I sit here, listening to the Cubs, thinking I probably should go to bed. The girls are asleep, Karl is at work, bonding or working or something. I know there are many more long days coming as the draft looms this weekend. The weekend really will be the worst as Karl will stay as long as the decision makers stay or maybe next week will be the worst as there is no break for me, no chance to breathe. It really will be ok....This is my 4th draft as a wife of the NFL.

My 4 inch plus curling tail? bug bite has shruken with the help of serious antibiotics. (there are some strange bugs here)

My 16 year old brother's 40+ stitches from a car accident are out and he should be able to play lacrosse again soon.

It is hot in Atlanta, we were near 90 today again. I am so stubborn and will not turn the air on until May. Come on now. It will be running for at least 4 months, lets not start it too soon.

Anna's favorite Bible story is about the sneaky snake. I'm not sure if this worries me or not.

My family is weighing heavily on me, as there will be some extended visits this summer with all sides of the family. I am trying to pray everytime I think of them. I know I need to be a light to them and it is so hard. They know your junk, and have seen you at your worst, and it is really easy to revert to old behavior when with family.

And now I am going to let my mind veg out...

It's a long one, sorry (kinda)

2006-04-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

Last year in the small group that I miss, my friend Lisa talked about how when you strain against what your body is able to do, you hurt yourself, break, sprain, twist or pull. And it is the same with God, when you strain against God's will, there is discontent, maybe a little maybe a lot. I had a moment yesterday, a feeling of such intense peace because I know that right now in this season I am fully walking in step with God's will. I don't know if I have as clearly felt that as right now. Do you want to hear more of this journey?

Have you ever had a fictional character mark your life as much as a live person? I read all three books in the Mark of the Lion series in about 6 days. I was much more caught up in the love story of the characters, but I realize it is really about the love story of God for us. The main character really is so amazing, I already wrote about her. So I started to think about my life as she might. Knowing I need to serve, love, pray for the people who are in my life right now, specifically my family. The daily grinds, but God will make me joyful in that. The extended family pushes God away, but he can change minds and open hearts. Strangers are coming into my life and I am seeing some of what God's sees in them. God is bringing my own sin to mind, and I am able to confess in the moment.

I'm really not sure if I am making sense but I have been wanting to put all this out there. I feel so far away from friends in the far reaches of the country and needing to share "what God is doing in my life."

Here are two exerpts from The Message Remix that I am dwelling on:

"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that."Ephesians 5:1-2

"Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."Ephesians 6:13-18

It does my heart good....

2006-04-13T12:28:00.000-07:00

to listen to Pat and Ron as I go about my afternoon naptime chores. Pat and Ron who? The beloved radio announcers for the Cubbies. Thanks to the miracle of the internet I am able to enjoy one of my (for as long as I can remember) spring/summer/early fall routines of listening to the Cubs.

I had a strange experience this weekend when we watched the Cubs beat the Cardinals three times. I was sad and later I realized that watching the Cubs was something I did a lot of in our old house and it made me miss that living room and so many people who have been there and things that happened there.

Anyway, now I am enjoying my old radio friends and the way they make me feel not so far away.

2006-04-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

I just don't know what to think about this, but I feel the need to share it...

This morning when I came downstairs to let the dogs out and feed them, I heard this loud music, sounding like it came from outside. I assumed the guys building the houses behind us had their loud music on early. But when I let the dogs in, I realized it was quiet outside. So then I thought, maybe Karl didn't go to work, but actually was in the basement with his music on loud. I head down.... The noise is coming from there, but no one is down there. The only thing on is the receiver, which I never use. (I don't think anyone uses it.) Its pretty loud and the person speaking is telling a story. I listen for a few seconds realizing it is the Easter story. I was so freaked out I turned it off right away. I now wish I had listened longer, but I didn't.... I get the feeling I was too quick to turn it off. There's not much I can do about it now. But it still gives me a funny feeling in my tummy.

A sweet aroma... the vacation

2006-04-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

So I read A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers for our book club. It may be one of the best books I've ever read. Not only did it have a great mix of characters, love story, historical fiction, but it was a Christian story that has spurred me on. The main character is a Jewish Christian sold into slavery by the Romans after the fall of Jerusalem. And the best way to describe it is that she has a sweet aroma around her that makes people love her and want to know more about her and her "unseen God". It really is a wonderful story, had me sobbing in the car on the way home from Florida, with the girls, Karl, my mom and brothers all staring at me. And if you read it be prepared with the sequel, the ending leaves you wanting more.

And Florida, I've said it before and I'll say it again, vacationing with small children is far from relaxing. Disney World is a zoo and my grandparents have way too many nice, breakable, expensive things to make their home truly childproof. And spring in Georgia, while beautiful with blooming flowers, is so warm 70s-80s, its not much different than Florida. It was a lot of fun despite all that...

An update....

2006-03-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

Soon we will be off to Florida. My mom and 2 brothers are coming in tomorrow and we all drive down to spend a few days with Mickey and then my grandparents. I am excited to see my family and to spend time at Disney. Karl is actually taking the whole week off from work. I will believe it when I see it.
I think we will be done with 6 weeks of ear infections and the appropriate antibiotics soon.
I had a moment at small group last weekend.... I said the footsteps poem was cheesy, and I got the corresponding evil eye from someone. I then had the realization that my post-modernist friends have really rubbed off on me. Maybe its the fact that most of the small group is a generation older than us, but it may be that we are more post-modern than I knew. (just for the record, the concept of Jesus carrying you is not cheesy, its just something about the poem.)
Our church places a HUGE emphasis on baptism by emersion, to the point, I don't think we can be members unless we do it. (We haven't spoken to the pastor yet, so maybe I am wrong.) I trying to figure out why that is a big deal for me.
I really like MOPS and wish I had been going all year. The girls are going and staying in the childcare for 2 and 1/2 hours and also on Sundays at church. I feel there is a major breakthrough. Now we just have to get potty training down.
The MOPS book club changed days for this month, now I'll be able to go. I just have to get the book. I am so excited!
I can't believe how much I am thinking about my approaching birthday. I really didn't think 30 was going to be a big deal but its on my mind a lot.
Right now I really miss my friends in Chicago, many live in other places now, but I will always think of them as my Chicago friends.

So true...

2006-03-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

One of the moms at MOPS today said something that is ringing so true. "The days are long but the years are short." I can't believe how long some of the days are, but I really can't believe how fast the time is going. Anna is going to be 3 in a few months. How did that happen?

Out of the Mouths of Babes... about dogs?

2006-03-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

Anna says some pretty funny things. Here are two about our favorite canine family members.

1) We bought 2 rocking chairs for our front porch(we do live in Georgia), and I told Anna "Daddy is going to put together the rocking chairs." She looked at the boxes and saw there were two and then told me "Daddy is going to make one Rocky chair and one Jeb chair." Of course we now call them the RockyJeb chairs.

2) Karl calls Jeb Jebadiah from time to time, Anna quickly picked on that and started calling him that too. But the other day she had us laughing when she called Rocky Rockadiah.

kids and dogs make for many laughs.

not JUST about illness...

2006-03-09T14:06:00.000-08:00

Three out of six in this family have an ailment that required a trip to the doctor yesterday, enough really is enough already. Thankfully, nothing too serious. When I found Jeb curled in a small (as small as 160 lb dog can be) ball shaking, I was sure he was having some complications to his Addison's Disease. But it seems to be his hip dysplacia. He should be fine, he even got some experimental laser treatment for free.

Anyway, in the hours I spent dealing with 2 doctors, a vet, the pharmacy, and especially the special Georgia style road construction I revisited the classic John Ortberg charge- to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life. Many people in Georgia have done this or maybe they never really hurried ever. Who knows? Anyway as I waited and even got annoyed that things weren't moving fast enough, I realized I really don't have anywhere to go that can't wait a few minutes. Its just a mindset. So despite the fact I tend to "judge" the Southern way (much more than just pace of life), maybe I have some things to learn.

On a much more serious note, (I think I know everyone that reads, but just in case someone else stumbles along I will be vague on details.) One of my brothers is finally getting some professional and serious help for what will be(he's only 24) his lifelong struggle. I can't even understand how hard this is. It really is a potentially life threatening situation. I know my mom and dad are also feeling the weight. If you have a chance and think of it, please pray for him to lay the groundwork of recovery now so that he cannot go back... He really is heavy on my heart, even in several of my dreams.

Discipline, Pink Eye, and some very sad news

2006-02-28T06:57:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about discipline and what I feel is the lack of it in my life. I have lots of great intentions, but the follow through is lacking spiritually, financially, healthily. I think it may actually be an immediate gratification problem. I don't like to wait for things, and the starting of things always seem to be hard despite the future benefit. Anyway I have created a plan for the next four weeks. I feel like God is telling me if you do these 3 things for the next 4 weeks, He will bless me. I don't know in what way, but I'm gonna do it!

As I continue to share about our health issues, we now have pink eye, at least I think we do. Doctor appt at noon.... We had a great time last week, with gymboree, MOPS, playgroup and church. I can't give up these things, so I guess we will continue to get sick. The question is when to know not to share our germs with everyone else.

Last night we got a call about a family we used to serve with at IMPACT. Herb Savage led on team Storm for 3-4 years with us. His wife, Kim, had a premature baby on Thursday morning, and the baby passed away Friday night. I don't know many of the details, and we really have not had much contact with the family for years. They have a son, Herb Jr., who is probably close to 5 or 6 now. Please pray for them, for whatever they need. They are reaching out to community from years ago so I pray that they can find the support they need.

And I am praying for all the people affected by the unbelievable anniversaries that are coming this week.

Take care of yourselves. I love you....

Home Sweet Home

2006-02-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

This time I was really looking forward to coming home, and it has been easy for us to get back into our life in Georgia. Chicago really isn't home anymore, yet something tells me some family would be hurt if they knew that.

I guess it is good to have low expectations. Things worked out good. I don't think I hurt anyone's feelings too much, and all the grandparents were able to see the girls a lot. We even spent an afternoon with Rebekah, Jordyn and baby Drew. The biggest problem was with sweet little Anna who has a case of the terrible twos. She was so defiant, especially when she had 4 grandparents, aunts and uncles as an audience and to undermine mother's authority. Thankfully she seems to have dialed it down a notch back at home. As much as the routine grinds on me, I really do appreciate coming back to it.

2006-02-06T11:24:00.000-08:00

So then we got the stomach flu. Yes, just when I was feeling better... and when one person gets it, everyone gets it. Can you be attacked with viruses? I think maybe.....

But we survived, and had the small group Super Bowl party here. It was a lot of fun. I think more than 40 people were here, including all the kids. It was great to use our house and our hospitality gifts!

And now I am packing to go north for a week. It's cold here, but its really cold there... like 20-30 degrees less. As Karl said, maybe I'll feel great there, because its what my body is more used to. I am going with very low expectations, so hopefully they will be surpassed.

Welcome to the South

2006-02-02T07:46:00.000-08:00

So I am in the middle of my first sinus infection ever. I had no idea how horrible they are. I feel like my face might explode. Thank God for antibiotics. Yesterday someone told me welcome to the south, you get at least one sinus infection a year down here. Great!

In other news, Ellie has an ear infection, and is still sniffling away. Poor little monkey.

And I am the only person not excited about the trip next week to Chicago. The grandparents are chomping at the bit. Even my dad is coming from Pittsburgh. Every moment will be planned according to someone else's desires, and even then I will be sure to make someone unhappy. Heaven forbid that I would actually want to see any friends. I actually think I am dreading the trip, traveling, sleeping (or lack of sleeping) in different surroundings making everyone happy. So why am I going? Because I am a good daughter, daughter-in-law and mother to the grandchildren.

Maybe things will look better when my antibiotics have a few more days to do their magic work.

Preschool and another week of snot....

2006-01-26T10:37:00.000-08:00

So when one of us gets sick, it is just about definite that we all will. When there are kids there will be weeks of coughing, sneezing, snot noses, and kleenex. If only I could have captured a picture of Anna's face when I said mommy is sick, even she was horrified and said no mommy sick. So even the 2 year old knows how bad an idea that is.

And in the midst, preschool registration is on Monday for a church preschool down the street. Many of the classes are full due to returning students, but I hope to get Anna into the 3 year old class for next year. The director and many families live in our neighborhood. Things are different here.... Kindergarten is a full school day and the state sponsors a 4 year old preschool that is also all day, but free. That gives me the creeps though. I'm not ready to turn my kids over to school at 4. Luckily I can pay for the church half day preschool so I think I will. And I think it is wrong I have to think about this in January, 8 months before school starts.

Sorry if this is disjointed and gross for anyone.

Oh yeah, I don't watch 24. Jack Bauer is not real. (this may be cold medicine talking I'm not sure)

Two Things...

2006-01-20T16:00:00.000-08:00

First, for what its worth, I really enjoy the neighborhood playgroup. Finally I am more comfortable around this group of women and kids. It has been 5 months now and we are getting past the formalities a little. I'm sure it helps that we are all home with kids so we at least have a common ground. Playgroup really does make my Friday.

Second, to toot Karl's horn for him. Today, the head coach of the Falcons, Jim Mora Jr. told Karl that he gave one of the best presentations he has seen. He continues to get props from important people at the Falcons. Which confirms my earlier suspicion that I hitched my wagon to a good horse.

Sorry, but...

2006-01-18T11:25:00.000-08:00

I am relieved that the Bears lost. I hope next year it is different. It really feels like you are being torn apart to be a Bear fan forever (or as long I can remember), and yet not be able to root for them in the playoffs. I even made Karl do a few errands during the game. We've heard that it is hard the first year, and then it gets easier.

Hey at least I can look to my Cubies. It won't be long and no one can take that away from me, not even Arthur Blank(owner of the Falcons) buying the Braves. ( No announcement has been made but I guess he is thinking about it.)

The Community Question

2006-01-10T04:10:00.000-08:00

A very surface level small group left Karl and I asking ourselves many questions. Do people here really not have community? Is that one of the things Willow does right? Was it the people we were in community with? Is it the age and life stage that makes the difference? Is it the couple small group vs the same gender groups? Were people holding back because of new people? (I didn't get that impression.) There was a round of ohs and ahs when the leader said we came from Willow, are people intimidated? (I really hope not.)

We don't have any answers. And this isn't to say there aren't really nice people in the small group. It was easy to talk to everyone before and after the small group part. It just felt like a high school small group where you are pulling teeth to get the pat answers. We do wonder if we came to Atl for a lot more than football and maybe it is our responsibility to share/teach community to people in the far corners of this country.

So on that note.... Let this be an open invitation for our community to gather here... You know we got the hospitality thing, and we have an awesome house so it has been frustrating not to have y'all here. Come anytime... Its even nice in January.... sunny and 60s all week.

Flip Flops, Sadness, Hope

2006-01-04T06:14:00.000-08:00

So I get to wear flip flops and take my kids to the park on January 4. Sunny, High today 68. That helps the S.A.D. that would be hitting about now in Chicago.

I felt a lot of sadness this New Year's in that we have been here about 4 months and really don't have any friends. I have (last 2.5 years) said that being a mom is really just very lonely. Day in and day out its the same thing with mom usually taking on the brunt of it. So I think some of that loneliness has been compounded because I have not had my small group. Kind of what Jackie was talking about. I knew every two weeks we would meet and every month we would do something social. I really looked forward to those things, and right now I really don't have that. (Brings tears to my eyes) In my head I know it just takes time, but in my heart I am sad.

I do hope.... We will be able to start going to the small group from our church that meets in our neighborhood this Sunday(with the Falcons being out of the playoffs). It is a couples group which is different for us, but everyone brings their kids which is good.... I hope that playgroup gets started again with many friends to connect with.... I hope I don't regret signing up for neighborhood Bunco....I hope that the New Year changes we made as a family stick around....

I think both of us have done some processing this switching of the calendar... so hopefully I will have the chance to share more (since Karl doesn't blog).

I guess it's just not a glamorous life....

2005-12-29T05:38:00.000-08:00

The house full of family for Christmas has emptied and now it is the 6 of us. Rocky is sleeping(imagine that), Jeb is running away with new toys, Ellie is teething something fierce fussy during the day and waking up a lot at night, Anna has the stomach flu so gross, and Karl is coughing up something even grosser and I will be making him go to the doctor today if he doesn't on his own.

Luckily, I feel fine (with the exception of being a little tired) that makes caring for my loves a little easier.

I understand....

2005-12-23T10:49:00.000-08:00

I can understand the feeling of being so overwhelmed that you just want to get away from everything! But the idea of not being with my little girls is more overwhelming to me..... So I always keep plugging on.

What sadness I am just now reading about.

Winning isn't Everything

2005-12-09T06:03:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about this for awhile....This football season is not shaping up as we thought it would...The Chicago Bears are winning, will probably make the playoffs? The Atlanta Falcons are losing, have a slight chance to make the playoffs? I can't say this wasn't bothering me greatly! I think we both were letting it bother us a lot. Then I had a realization, and thought I would share it with y'all....

A little background, Karl worked with two of the biggest jerks in the world, really they are in a class all to themselves. They are the kind of people who are taking great pleasure at the prospect of the Bears being better than the Falcons, because to them, winning(and not just football games) is everything! So I think we were thinking like them.... on the losing end, until I gave it just a little thought, and came up with several reasons not to be down.

1) We have been Bear fans for like 29 years so we can be happy for the Bears.

2)There are a lot of good people who work at the Bears, who Karl was friends with, they deserve to win (and not lose their jobs) and we can be happy for them.

3)We let the two jacks at the Bears win when we think like them. I would take any Falcon loss to know Karl doesn't have to deal with them on Monday.

4) No one would give the proper credit, but as I see it, Karl played a big role in this team. He created the enviroment with his awesome information systems(which has been recognized in sports circles) for them to evaluate players, teams, plays, etc. and create this team that is now winning.

5)And most importantly, We didn't move here because we thought the Falcons would win more than the Bears. We moved here because we have never had as strong a conviction that God wanted us to do anything as we did to move to Atlanta. So we will see what else is in store!

The Mount Rushmore of the losing states

2005-11-29T11:13:00.000-08:00

Karl calls Stone Mountain the Mount Rushmore of the losing states. I kind of agree. I just think it is kind of funny that Generals Lee, Jackson and Longstreet are carved into the side of a mountain. It shows a different mentality than anything I've seen in Illinois, the pride of the south, the south shall rise again, I don't know what to think. We didn't spend much time at the mountain itself, but there are some other cool things incorporated in the Stone Mountain Park.

The American Thanksgiving

2005-11-29T11:11:00.000-08:00

Day Three

2005-11-29T10:49:00.000-08:00

I am now in the middle of day three of laundry.... The last load is now in the dryer soon it will all be over. There will be no trace of the crazy, fun, stressful weekend that just passed. Let's just say all in all there were positives and negatives to the American Thanksgiving. I think that can be understood when you collect 11 different people together under one roof.

Positives:

I am very proud of my Thanksgiving spread. I hope to get a picture up soon.
Good time spent with sister-in-law Beth. She now understands more about the in-law scene.
Her husband Jeff is now my partner in crime as we are "the outlaws."
We surprised Jeff with tickets to the Atlanta Thrashers hockey game for his birthday. (he is a HUGE hockey fan) Of course the tickets we for Arthur Blank's(owner of the Atlanta Falcons) private box. That was very cool!
Everyone seemed to get along with the Italian boyfriend, Alex, and get over some preconceived ideas about him.
My girls had fun with everyone and vice versa.
All of us stayed in one house, with not much tripping over each other.

Negatives

The fam does not understand our feelings towards the Chicago Bears. It is much more complicated than anyone knows. Which then leads to some uncomfortable moments.
There is a tension that comes and goes between me and my mother-in-law. It has always been there, and I imagine it always will be there.
I had some frustrating, stressful and emotional moments, when my expectations for how some things were going to work, didn't go as planned. Due to my own issues, or others not be considerate.

All in all I think it went well. Now there are Christmas decorations to get out and shopping to be done. In just a few short weeks, my family will invade. I am really looking forward to that!

Church

2005-11-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

Early on in our move, we decided we would not go "church shopping." Karl went to our church a few times before the big move, our realtor recommended it because she knows the pastor and his wife, and it is a WCA church. When we have been able to actually go to service (now we are taking turns staying with Anna as the teachers look at us horrified when we bring her crying- we really just don't know what to do), I absolutely love the messages. The pastor actually went to college with Rich Mullins. I really like that he is not afraid to say what he thinks, he is not wishy washy which is something that bothers me a lot. For example, a few weeks ago he was talking about how we easily let our minds get persuaded into worldly thinking. These are a few examples, a few likeable gay characters on tv lead to a few more and pretty soon, we are thinking it is ok. Tv shows and media talk so much about abortion, it stops being about babies. Commercials tell us it is ok to get drunk as long as we don't drive. I don't think he is at all intollerant, but I love that he speaks truth. I think everyone is so afraid to offend someone that no one ever says anything difficult to hear. (this is a much bigger discussion, but these things are what have stuck with me for a few weeks now)

Anyway, last night was the church Thanksgiving dinner, at first both Karl and I dismissed it, and then we started to change our minds. How else are we going to meet people and when have we ever gone to a church that can have a potluck. So we went and are so glad we did. First we met Pastor Phil and talked to him for a long time. Karl had talked to him on the phone, and it was nice that he remembered that from months ago. Then since I didn't know anyone, I just "randomly" picked a table. As it turns out we sat with people who go to a small group in our neighborhood, and as it turns out I have met the wife of the couple who host at the park. It so good to talk to people and be invited to a small group. It is a couples small group, and they even hire a high school girl to watch the kids.

Just a random scary thought, as we were driving home, we both said we are pulled to the high school students. We'll see what happens with that.

So despite the disappointing Falcon loss, the day turned out great! And tomorrow night, the first of our guests are arriving for the "American Thanksgiving." Its good the message this week was about confronting conflict, before it gets out of control. We are ready! (Just kidding, kinda)

I always get a kick out of this....

2005-11-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

So yeah he really does sleep like this. I think his most sound sleep is in this position. What a weirdo!

An update....

2005-11-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

Since I can't get my mind around anything specific, I will give an update....

We are gearing up for the influx of Karl's family. In less than 2 weeks , 11 people will be here for all the fun of an American Thanksgiving.
I say American Thanksgiving, because Brittany is bringing her Italian boyfried, who lives in England, and who has seen Thanksgiving in the movies.
Ellie has finally started sleeping well. (although we are up early today)
Anna is fully a two year old, perfecting the use of two timeless classics of two year olds, mine and no. She stayed in Sunday School the whole time this week, but she cried the whole time too. Hopefully this will resolve itself soon.
Karl still loves his job.
I am trying to figure out what to do to keep my sanity. I would love to go back to work at the crisis center, in our old set-up, but I don't know what that means here. I know I need to do something to use this brain before it turns to mush.
On that note, I thought about writing a book about my family (because of all the stories coming out at my Great Grandma's funeral), maybe I should start working on that.

Anyways, Sorry I don't have anything more exciting to share.

Trick or Treat

2005-11-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

I feel like I am supposed to post pictures of the Halloween costumes. So here goes...

2005-11-01T14:26:00.000-08:00

As you can see, Anna was in a foul mood! So we couldn't get a picture of the girls together. Luckily for them, the neighborhood fall festival was pushed back to this Saturday. We will get to dress them up again.

The Farm

2005-11-01T11:46:00.000-08:00

This is my grandparents farm. I think it was built in the 1850s and they bought it in the 1950s. It hasn't been used as a farm for a very long time. It really is hard to describe the farm to someone who hasn't been there. My dad says it has a magical quality to it. I don't know if it is the place or the people. It has always been the place to see my large extended family. It is a place that I feel home and comfortable and I love sharing with my daughters. I think I realized this when we went for Great-Grandma's funeral. Even my mom had never been there in October before and it felt more normal and strange to be there.
I imagine it is a little taste of what it will feel like to go to heaven. A sense of belonging, being accepted, always welcomed. I think the strangest part about that is my mom, Karl and I are the only believers there. (Which is a whole other story for another day.) I also think that is why Karl always wants to invite our Christian community to the Farm. It seems to make sense at a gut level.

2005-11-01T11:44:00.000-08:00

"The Brook" a view from the front porch.

2005-11-01T11:43:00.000-08:00

Another view of the land.... John, you can see part of the skeet/trap range my grandfather built.

2005-11-01T11:41:00.000-08:00

The old and new. The old horse barn and pig house. The new shop/bachelor apartment (where the guys stay) and pool.

Still in Chicago...

2005-10-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to give a quick update for those that don't know. We arrived in Chicago a week ago Tuesday. On Wednesday, my 97 year old great grandma (the girls' great great grandma) passed away. So Saturday we went to NY for the services and returned to Chicago yesterday. The plan is now to return to GA on Sunday, and I hope to have some interesting posts at that point. I thought about several topics that would be interesting to write about. We'll see if I remember what they were....

Waiting for next year!

2005-10-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

If it comes down to it, will Cub fans root for the White Sox or the Cardinals? I think we will stick with the Chicago team!

And I will be their dog!

2005-10-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

This is eye level with me sitting on the floor.

2005-10-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should post, but I don't exactly know what I want to say. I think I have a bad combination going on right now, some hormonal issues, Karl working a ton, the good stress of entertaining/hosting guests, and just daily life. I used to experience what I am feeling when I was teaching, temping and even at the crisis center a little. The routine just gets so boring. I think part of the problem is that I don't really have any outlets for me. Yeah, it is fun to chat with moms at gymboree or playgroup, and maybe good friendships will come in time. I guess I have to hope. And now the girls are shouting for me...

Tag

2005-10-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

So first let me say, that this is a good example of why not to send me chain letters. Things die with me! I will list songs that I am listening to... and maybe loving.

1)Anything sung by Anna (Twinkle, Twinkle little star, Old Macdonald's Farm, Itsy Bitsy Spider)

2)The Barney "I Love You" song because it means the purple dinosaur is over.

3) The Dora the Explorer theme song and "We did it" and the end. (Anna is a riot dancing to both)

Maybe this is why I am going crazy!

I do really love anything by U2, right now two favorites are
4)City of Blinding Lights
5)Beautiful Day

Sorry everyone I know has been tagged so I guess the game dies with me!

Smile

2005-10-10T16:41:00.000-07:00

I am obviously learning to post pictures so you can expect many to come. I need to find things that make me smile!

Caught in the Act

2005-10-10T16:39:00.000-07:00

What a goof ball!

2005-10-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

Ellie's New Friend

2005-10-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update...or maybe more like a medium update

2005-10-05T08:44:00.000-07:00

We had our first guests last weekend. Karl's sisters and the new husband came down to hang out and go to the Falcons game.
Brittany leaves for England this evening. She is taking a 3 month leave from work. It actually seems like a good plan. Her and Alex (italian boyfriend who lives in England) need to find out if this relationship is worth the distance and what to do next?
Ellie is a big girl 23 lb and 24 in at her 9 month checkup. And I don't want to say it out loud, but she is sleeping so much better. Doctor said she could wake up 1ce a night, and that's what she has been doing for a few days.
Anna is a cutie, so much fun. Doctor recommended Anna get a flu shot even though she is not in the high risk category, because she is high risk to Ellie. (if only she knew-Ellie is one tough cookie.)
Jeb really is a pain in the a. Sometimes I'm not sure why I love him.
Rocky is a good big brown pillow that moves to different places to lay down. Why can't Jeb be more like Rocky.
My dad and one of his childhood friends are coming down this weekend to catch up after 20 years, and go to the Falcons game.
As much as I love having people visit, I feel like I am running a bed and breakfast.
Less than two weeks until we go to Chicago.

Georgia On My Mind

2005-09-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

Illinois and Georgia are similar in some ways, but there are many differences. Here are some that I have been thinking about.

There are "dubya" stickers on 75% of the cars. In fact, I actually think I may be liberal down here.
The schools closed for two days to save the 500,000 gallons of diesel fuel used by the buses. Just kinda weird.
The lingo: I hear words like fixinto and witchaditcha. As in I'm fixinto leave in a few minutes, and you didn't bring your dog witchaditcha?
College football is king. I have never seen the mall area empty except when UGA is playing. College flags on cars and houses. They really take college football seriously.
Roads don't make any sense. There is no grid system. I think most were built on top of old dirt roads. And lanes just turn into turn lanes without warning.
Really red clay is everywhere. I wish I had red clay colored carpeting.
People are really friendly. Almost too friendly.
A cold front means highs in the upper 70s.

That's all I can think of for now, I'm sure there will be more as I get used to the culture down here.

Some people look for cardinals.... I guess we will look for falcons

2005-09-27T02:41:00.000-07:00

So this may be a long story, but I wanted to get it out there, and some probably remember the beginning...

In May when we realized/made the decision to move to Georgia, after the initial high that we are following God's plan, I quickly turned to doubt and maybe even a little depression. Until one Saturday I decided to only think about the positives of the move and get fully behind this decision. That afternoon as we were working on the house to sell it, I look out at our park and see this huge bird soaring above it. This was no bird I had ever seen before. I called to Karl and he told me it was a falcon. Really it was probably a hawk, but it is much cooler to be a falcon becaue Karl was going to work for the Atlanta Falcons. (We joked a little about it trying to pick up Jeb and flying away.) I took it as a confirmation that we were doing the right thing. And I believe that God used Barb's Cardinal story to teach us to look up, and for me to even consider the falcons as a confirmation.

Anyway when we came down to look for a house, these monster birds were everywhere, soaring above the trees and highways. I asked around and there are both hawks and falcons native to the area. Even the two high schools closest to us are the hawks and falcons.

A few things happened along the way. For example, we wanted to buy a minivan, but decided to fix the old explorer instead. Saw the falcon right after.... then Karl totals the saturn and we are able to buy the minivan.

Well just a little while ago, I was so frustrated. Sick kids on little sleep, make life seem much worse than it really is. I was doing some dishes and looked out the window. In the empty lot behind us, there was a huge falcon (4-5 foot wingspan) just hovering. I can't believe how close he was. I could see amazing detail. It is a little scary. I will have to be very careful with the girls and maybe Rocky, but I really don't think he could take Jeb. Although.... maybe...

Anyway, I guess we will be a family on the lookout for falcons, as symbols of God's greatness. I don't think they have cardinals here, I haven't seen any.

MINA

2005-09-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight at dinner, Anna created a new word: MINA. I think it is a combination of the 2 year old MINE and Anna. The girl makes me laugh all the time!

Sleep Delirious

2005-09-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

I think I am beyond sleep deprived and have moved into sleep delirious and it is only 8am. Here's the situation, for the last few nights Ellie thinks she needs to wake up every 1-2 hours to make sure we are still here or maybe try out her new skill of pulling up. And then yesterday Anna was sick all day, just laying around so by about 2am she really wasn't interested in sleeping at all. I am used to being in a constant state of exhaustion from Ellie waking up every 4-5 hours, but this is getting ridiculous.

It is days like this that we really miss our family at home. I don't have anyone like a grandma to call on at any point asking for help and that makes me sad.

I know I am gearing up for the crying it out night, but I hate it. We'll see when that happens.

Hopefully someone will enjoy this!

2005-09-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

For awhile now I have been thinking about the consequences of Eve's (of Adam and Eve, not my friend Eve) original sin. I know the Bible teaches us that one result is that women will suffer the pains of childbirth. Yes, it is painful! However, I have come to a conclusion that as modern medicine has made it less painful the new "punishment" is laundry. I hate laundry. It really is never ending. I feel like I am doing it all the time and even when I think I'm done with it, someone is wearing clothing and getting it dirty. I guess laundry really is a result of the whole realizing they were naked thing. I don't know, but I am sure that laundry is a consequence of "the fall". Thanks a lot Adam and Eve!

Now on a more serious note....

2005-09-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

I know I've seen this verse before, but we rediscovered it while looking for the love verses for Beth's wedding.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. 1Corinthians 13:12-13 (The Message)

What an amazing explanation and charge to us in this world that doesn't make sense. I feel that I have never had as clear a calling as this crazy move to Georgia. I didn't understand (and still really don't) but I said ok let's go. And now as I go through the ups and downs in my life, I want and need to follow Paul's direction to trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.

I don't say it enough, but I love y'all!

Looking forward to Wednesday

2005-09-19T11:03:00.000-07:00

There are a few shows that I watch consistently and only one I watch on the night it is aired (I love my dvr). I think it is funny that I get excited when I realize the Lost season premier is only a couple of days away. I guess it is the little things that keep us going!

Heads up!

2005-09-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to give fair warning, the girls (all 3 of us) are making the trip to Chicagoland October 18-25. We will stay at my mom's and of course visit the other grandparents, but I really would love to see some friends so let's make some plans!

What he said....

2005-09-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

"Reasoning with a two-year-old is about as productive as changing seats on the Titanic."-Robert Scotellaro (whoever he is)

You could add a 9 month old, a 7 year old lab and a 3 year old mutant dog....

Yet I try and try and try.... I just found myself discussing the options of a crabby, teething 9 month old (play, eat, sleep, play with other toys. etc) since she doesn't seem to like any of her choices.

Karl and I often remember this quote we heard on Chicago sports radio "the thing about hitting your head with a hammer, is that it feels so good when it stops." While that definitely applies to Chicago sports, I think a mother may have originally stated that truth.

Bend my knee

2005-09-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

We went to church today. I was able to be in the service for two songs before Ellie's number came up. One of the songs was an Impact oldie but goodie- Bend My Knee. So weird to hear it somewhere else, our favorite line still makes us smile. Anyway I went into the baby room with Ellie, then within 15 minutes there goes Karl into Anna's room. So we spent the day with the kids. I guess that is going to be our plan for awhile.

I am so needing some adults to talk to and church seems to be my best hope of connecting, yet it is also so frustrating.

Rattling around my head

2005-09-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

So many things are rattling around my head, so I thought I would try to get some out....

It is hard to say good bye to family. I think it may have been even harder this time around.
24 hour news coverage is a blessing and a curse.
There is no denying that the people hurt most by this hurricane are primarily African American and poor. I hope some of this spotlight may help the chronic poverty that exists in the US that so many people don't even know exists.
In the US, no one should be hungry or without shelter. That includes all the pets (I'm with Jackie in that this situation too horrible to believe.)
What do I do now? I pray, give money, watch the news, but what else can I do with two children under 2? Is the most natural thing for Karl and I really the best thing for our family.
What happened on September 11th still sucks!

My heart groans

2005-09-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

The best way I can describe what is going on inside of me as I watch the news coverage is that my heart is groaning. I think that is the only thing it knows how to do. I believe it is times like these that my mercy and intercession gifts collide in important and potentially powerful ways.

The People Pleaser Freak Out

2005-08-30T06:28:00.000-07:00

Since we drove away from the Chicago area on August 12th, I have been looking forward to this coming weekend. I knew this was the first leg and that we would get to see family in a few weeks. Now that it is fast approaching, I am having mixed feelings. Still excited to see a lot of people, but now I am worried that everyone will pull us apart wanting to be with Anna and Ellie. And despite the wonderful grandparents they have, of course there is competition and potential for hurt feelings. Also the logistics of traveling with 2 young children, sleeping in one hotel room, the probable behavior issues at rehearsals, weddings, many restaurants, dropping the dogs at the kennel for the first time. And now, there is some family manipulation(may be too strong a word) and I am worried about making everyone happy.
I guess the moral of the story is I am a people pleaser, and I really start to freak out when I know I can't make everyone happy.

If all the hurricanes were Hershey bars and candy canes....

2005-08-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

Oh what a world it would be.... I have lived with earthquakes (CA), massive snowstorms (CO and IL), and tornados (IL). Now I get to experience the hurricane. Of course it is just the rain bands after the main hurricane, but I am going to count it. I guess it is fitting that Katrina is the German translation of my own name.

Depths of my Heart

2005-08-28T12:01:00.000-07:00

Last week's church experience was horrible. Ellie had me called out within 15 minutes and then within a few more minutes someone told me that Anna was crying. No one would calm down and soon I led our parade into the service to get Karl. By the time we got to the car, I think Karl was the only one not crying.

Thank God this week was better. Ellie stayed the whole time with the babyholders so I was able to stay for a whole church service. Karl stayed with Anna in the 2 year old room. Thankfully this church allows parents who are not CPPed to stay with their children. (We haven't told anyone at this WCA church that we are CPPed. I don't even want to tell people we are coming from Willow, but that's another story for another time.) Maybe next time Anna will stay by herself.... we'll see.

Anyway as I continue to be on an emotional rollercoaster, it was wonderful to sing worship songs, listen to biblical teaching, and take communion. And I just wanted to share what I learned today. A line from one of the worship songs I've heard abizlion times (not so good with titles and all, but it is on christian radio) just keeps coming back to me. "He knows the depths of my heart and loves me the same." So as the next line says God is amazing. He knows all the awful things that go through my head and heart and He wants to love me anyway. I was specifically thinking of all the lies I tell myself in this whole crazy process of making new friends. I know that God is not behind those lies, and as cheesy as it sounds, He really does have a plan for me and my family and all the very important members of my community spread around the country.
Love all y'all community!

2005-08-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

Sleep makes everything seem better....

and lack of sleep makes everything seem worse. I am very tired. I thought I would list some things that I am tired of.....

Babies that are teething and won't eat or sleep.
2 year olds that whine all the time.
Dogs who are needy and bark all the time.
Men working on my basement who make the dogs bark.
Construction trucks barreling down the street.
A house that is not put together.
A neighborhood that is so great, yet no neighbors to talk to.
Being a Cubs fan.

I always forget about the bright side so I will also make a list of some blessings:

The sun is shining.
Karl is a good husband.
The s are healthy.
I love the potential for this house.
I did finally meet a neighbor yesterday.
We have found a great babysitter already.
I guess there is always next year for the cubies.

Now on a really sad note. Karl went to a small Division III school called Illinois Wesleyan University. He was an offensive lineman and co-captain of the football team there. This week a senior offensive lineman, co-captain, and computer science major died as a result of heat stroke from practice. All the coaches and athletic director are the same as when Karl was there. There are only 2000 students, 2 of which are my former SI students. It is hitting the former players hard (we keep getting random phone calls) so I can't imagine what the coaches, players, teachers, students are going through.

In the distance I hear mommy.....gotta go...

2005-08-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

So here goes...

I'm not really sure what this "blog" is going to be ... deep meaningful discussions... rantings and ravings of a mom sick of Barney ... updates for everyone who doesn't live near us (oh wait that is everyone we know). I'm sure at times I will go to the extremes with making it sound worse or better than it actually is, but I think that is how I do things.

Anyway a quick summary of life in GA is that it is freaking HOT! We can't go outside so we are going a little stir crazy. We are told that this is not normal, but I don't know if I believe them. I believe they call it Hotlanta for a reason. Other than that my daily life is the same as it was before. I take care of the girls, dogs, Karl, cook, clean, do laundry and perform "other duties as assigned". At some times I think we are feeling pretty settled in our home, and then I see more boxes or some of the empty rooms awaiting furniture and I wonder when I will feel at home. Basically I am still on a rollercoaster.

Hopefully, I will be able to post with some regularity, but my apologies in advance for any long absences.

Oh yeah, those that know and love Jeb, will appreciate that he threw up a mound of red clay and dog food last night as we were going to sleep.